Monday, 21 May 2018

Heaps of FREE books!

More delicious Instafreebie book giveaways for avid/rabid readers to sink their teeth into!

First up, there's an absolute belter of a sci-fi, fantasy and horror giveaway containing over 120 books from the cream of the indie crop.  Some are previews, but most are the full novel.  Give 'em a download at the following link: https://claims.instafreebie.com/gg/r1Y0FxTjBmiAboAIU7yY


Next, we have a young adult book fest!  70 books for a youthful audience, which are jam-packed with magic, mystery and mayhem (and some have zombies, too.  Gotta love zombies).  Here's the link: https://claims.instafreebie.com/gg/zNwQsaMqTD64xNpHweig


Finally, mostly aimed at the Middle Grade range, there's 50 books about friendship, honesty, integrity and loyalty. Admittedly, one of the main characters in my Navel Navigators novel is the antithesis of all those qualities (good ol' Caspian Thrall - he does like a good spot of thieving!) but at it's core my book is a tale of friendship and loyalty...'twixt boy and goat.  The link doth go thusly (sorry - I woke in a Shakespearian mood): https://claims.instafreebie.com/gg/xA5avznPt4CIZFoisfFx


The 5 chapter preview of The Last Of The Navel Navigators is available in all the giveaways above.  Should you be inclined to check out the finished novel, it's currently on sale until the end of the month on Amazon for just 99p/$0.99:

UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Last-Navel-Navigators-David-Hailwood-ebook/dp/B07BJ7SBN1
US: https://www.amazon.com/Last-Navel-Navigators-David-Hailwood-ebook/dp/B07BJ7SBN1

Saturday, 5 May 2018

Free Comic Book Day Goodies!

Today is Free Comic Book Day, and you know what that means...FREE COMICS! 


From today until next week the digital version of 100% Biodegradable Collection 1 (collecting the best strips from issues 1-6 of the digital sci-fi anthology) is FREE on Drivethru Comics

The first 100% Biodegradable Collection features 30 strips from professional creators, indie regulars and promising newcomers across the UK and abroad, including Jim Alexander (2000ad, Judge Dredd Megazine), Neill Cameron (The Pirates of Pangaea, Mega Robo Bros), Graeme Neil Reid (2000ad, Meanwhile), Paul H. Birch (Toxic, Creepy Kofy Movie Time), Tony Suleri (Slumdroid, Bulletproof), Mark Bertolini (Breakneck, Scum Of The Earth), Stewart Moore (Zarjaz, Sliced Quarterly) and many more.
Whether it's giant rampaging rodents, paranormal ice cream salesmen, hard boiled detectives, adulterous martians or kung-fu kitchen antics you're after, there's a little something for everyone in this 140 page collection!

Here's the link:

http://www.drivethrucomics.com/product/156020/100-Biodegradable-Collection-1

And don't forget, if you live near a comic shop, pop in and grab yourself some bargains!

Tuesday, 1 May 2018

Heaps Of Free Fantasy Books!

I decided to kick off May in style, and you can now grab a 5 chapter preview of The Last Of The Navel Navigators in 3 different Instafreebie Book Giveaways.

Navel Navigators...a feast for the senses!

See!  A young boy with a magic bellybutton get adopted by eleven-fingered banjo-strumming hillbillies.

Hear!  The unsettling noise of air escaping, as one of the young boy's travelling companions accidentally punctures a giant inflatable planet.

Touch!  An unsightly witchy-fingered pumpkin-clad Thingimagist (though don't blame me if you suddenly sprout extra eyeballs in unexpected places)

Taste!  Hideous hunchback cuisine, served from the waiters glistening humps.

Smell!  Brian the goat.  He's very, very stinky.

And if a Navel Navigators Sampler isn't enough to wet your whistle/grab your goat/prop up your under-inflated pudding, this is a great opportunity to read hundreds of indie fantasy novels for free (they're all available in epub/mobi/pdf format).  Heck, there's even a free 'Vikings Versus Unicorns' comic up for grabs, which comes with its own youtube Death Rock Anthem!  Some, like mine, are previews, but the majority are the full novel.

First up on the giveaways list we have the Fantasy Extravaganza, which features over 130 fantasy books.



You can check out the Fantasy Extravaganza, which runs between May 1- May 15 here:  https://claims.instafreebie.com/gg/Z11V5Ao0Ck0gZBcH8HM4

Next up, it's the Once Upon A Time Giveaway with fantasy books that feature fairy tales and magical creatures (though I'll warrant that my book is probably the only one to feature Beard Pixies)



This particular giveaway features over a hundred books, runs until the end of May and can be scrutinised here: https://claims.instafreebie.com/gg/ezy52GT0l9qPOjjgo9QZ

And finally we have the Clean Fantasy Creatures Reads, featuring over 70 fantasy books which are suitable for younger readers (as well as adults, in most cases).



This giveaway lasts until the end of June, so plenty of time to check out the link: https://claims.instafreebie.com/gg/m2qxBohIaW3I5NEbNG3d

Incidentally, the full version of The Last Of The Navel Navigators is currently on sale for just 99p in almost every digital store, including Kindle, iBooks, Kobo and Google Play.  Here's the stores link: books2read.com/navelnavigators1

Monday, 30 April 2018

Death! Zombies! Cannibalism! Grapefruits!

My new free to read short story and narrative poetry collection 'Dead Short' has just launched on Wattpad, kicking off with the zombie comedy 'Death After Life'. 

If you think you're having a bad day, spare a thought for poor Tony the supermarket shelf stacker, who chokes to death on a peanut during a zombie virus outbreak and is disappointed to learn he still has to go in to work the next day.

A new story or narrative poem will be published every Monday, until the collection is full enough for me to wrangle a Createspace print collection together (which may also contain some of my three panel Wormfood cartoons).

Here's an outline for a few of the stories and poems you can look forward to reading over the coming months, most of which were written whilst I was on the University of Chichester Creative Writing BA and MA.

In 'Blue Murder', a shipwrecked Englishman learns there's only one thing worse than being stranded alone in the middle of the ocean, and that's being stranded in the middle of the ocean with a ravenous American.

In the deeply romantic love ballad 'Butt Ugly' a man attempts to come to terms with the fact that his girlfriend's not quite the looker she used to be, since she lost her face in an office shredder.

In 'The Devil In The Dole Queue', Satan realises that mankind’s far superior at creating death, misery and destruction, and decides to call it a day and join the unemployment line (I've been reliably informed that this particular poem used to adorn the walls of the back office in Hastings DWP).

So, if you get a free moment please head along to the following link and give the first story in the collection a read/vote/comment. I'm hoping to enter into into the Wattys 2018 Competition in June, so all support is greatly appreciated.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/146532958-dead-short

Saturday, 21 April 2018

Quite A Lot Of People Know That

Whilst I'm scrabbling around for reviews for my recently released 'Navel Navigators' novel, I thought it might be handy to come armed with some sales figures for my previous book 'Not A Lot Of People Know That' (written by myself and Frank Burton/F.J. Riley).

Up until this week, I hadn't a clue how many copies of the free humorous 'facts' book had been downloaded, and I don't think Frank had really looked into it either.  So it came as something of a surprise to discover that, to this date, we've had over a quarter of a million downloads.  That's, uh, rather a lot isn't it?  Especially since we did very little to promote it (my main attempt at promotion involved hollering 'Squirrels don't have knees!!!' out of a bus window at passers by).  Most of the downloads occurred in 2011/2012, which we like to call our 'viral' period, when we were getting around 100,000 downloads a year.  It's now slowed to a thin trickle, but the book still remains in the top ten 'free humour' books chart on iBooks.

Much as I'd love to share our recipe for success, I think a lot of it comes down to luck.  When Frank (who was the driving force behind the book, even though my name comes first) came up with the idea of writing a made up fact book, he wanted the majority of the facts to be almost believable (eg: 'The Amazon contains at least five lost tribes of television documentary crews, three of which were originally sent in to document the lives of the other two').  This created a very polarised audience for the book (as anyone who's read the praise/death threats on iBooks and B&N will be aware) and resulted in hundreds of reviews from people who were keen to either vent their frustration at the facts not actually being true, or praise the book for making them laugh.  NLPKT (as I shall abbreviate the title from now on) has received over 80 five star reviews, and just as many one star reviews; the front page for NLPKT on iBooks at this moment begins with a 5 star review that states 'The funniest book I have ever read', immediately followed by a 1 star review that states 'Worth reading - if you are five, or an idiot'.  There were people who stated they felt 'a little bit more knowledgable' after reading the book, and others who mentioned it was being used by teachers in certain US schools (huge apologies if we're in any way responsible for the rise of Donald Trump!).



We tried to leave many clues that the facts inside the book were blatant falsehoods; categorising it as 'fiction' and 'humour' was certainly a rather large hint (though I've noticed it's been accidentally categorised as 'factual' in some digital stores, which may have helped fan the flames of reader discontent).  The front cover has a picture of some 'pants' on fire, and many of the facts were just too damned ridiculous to be true (seriously, if you have a headache, please do not try and coax a monkey to urinate directly into your mouth.  This will NOT cure it).  Then again, life does have a habit of imitating art, and some of the more outlandish facts in the book - such as the one about the surgeon who keeps leaving rude messages on patients internal organs - have actually come true.

I'm curious as to whether NLPKT would have been such a success if we'd gone with the books original title of 'Made Up Facts' (which we sadly had to change, once we realised the abbreviation was 'MUF').  I mean, you can't really give the readers a bigger hint than that, can you?

Anyway, given the success of NLPKT, I've suggested to Frank that we perhaps get working on a special Amazon collected version which would combine the best 'facts' from books 1 and 2, and add a lot of new material (possibly illustrations, if I can find an artist who's up for the challenge).  I doubt the print version will be quite as successful as the free digital book, but it'll be nice to see how far we can push it.  With any luck we'll manage to get the collected works out before all the facts inside come true!

In the meantime, Frank has a 'Ragbag' comedy podcast that he's currently producing, which has a similar flavour to NLPKT (he's already successfully managed to enrage Bono fans, so he must be doing something right).  You can check it out here: https://soundcloud.com/frank-burton-912417543

Saturday, 7 April 2018

100% Biodegradable 20 is out now!

Well, slap me with a ten tonne trout and call me Kenneth!  We've only gone and reached our 20th issue.  Champiooooon!!!
To celebrate that particular milestone, issue 20 is an absolute whopper; 48 pages, at the same low price of 69p/$0.99.  And it's jam-packed with more than 20 creators, and lashings of wonderful carnage!

And who better to kick off the carnage-fest than Alan ruddy Grant himself, alongside Alan ruddy Burrows, with their legendary 'Funguys'.  Watch them gatecrash the Last Supper, with sobering consequences! (based on a true story, no doubt)

Also inside issue 20: A lowly cleaner deals with major abandonment issues after everyone in the entire world leaves for a different time line, in 'Time Waits' by David Hailwood, Gary O' Donnell, Anne-Marie-Webb and Ken Reynolds. 
An alcoholic orc and his overweight companion attempt to tap into the unexplored market of Beer Beards in 'Rubbernorc: Vital Delivery' by Paul Eldridge, Brett Burbridge and Ken Reynolds. 


A caveman discovers the future's not all it's cracked up to be in 'Wrong Time, Wrong Place' by Chris Sides, Rory Donald and Ken Reynolds. 
Steampunk scientists attempt to cook up a popular new alternative to the Pseudo Lab Rat in 'Pet Peeve' by Ken Reynolds and Jordi Perez Estevez. 

Up against a deadly alien peril, the crew of the Skow unleash the full might of their secret Scottish weapon in 'Skowdogs' by John Freeman, David Hailwood, Dave Thomson and Ken Reynolds. 
On a vastly overpopulated earth, two government agents attempt to keep the population in check and rack up a hefty kill bonus in 'Supply and Demand' by David Hailwood and Tony Suleri. 

An android underdog bites off more than he can chew in 'Rumblebot Rampage' by Tim West and Edward R. Norden. 


A security operative on the late shift begins to suspect strange things are afoot in 'Elevator' by Tomek Kontny and Mikolaj Ratka. 


A nervous rabbit fears the universe is out to get him in 'Tense' by Pablo Iten and Ktaiwanita.

The digital anthology is 48 pages, colour and B/W, and suitable for readers aged 15+ (due to a hint of blood and gore)

You can buy it at the following places (with ComiXology soon to follow):

Drivethru:


Comicsy:


Comichaus:



Reviews:

"A "must read" for all lovers of sci-fi and fantasy comics." - Haydn Hades, AP2HYC

"The kind of smart script and stylish art that would feel right at home in the pages of the galaxys greatest comic!" Alex Thomas, Pipedream Comics

"Good old fashioned sci-fi escapism, and the art of Tony Suleri is worth the entrance fee alone" Andy Oliver, Broken Frontier

Saturday, 31 March 2018

Sales Galore!

Over the Easter period, you can grab a comic bundle containing issues 1-12 of the digital sci-fi comic anthology '100% Biodegradable' on Drivethru Comics for just $3 (or less, if you already own any of those issues on Drivethru)


http://www.drivethrucomics.com/product/174418/100-Biodegradable-BUNDLE

If you prefer print to digital comics, issues 1-3 of the 100% Biodegradable Collection is available in a '3 for the price of 2' bundle. That's 350+ pages of sci-fi comic carnage! 


http://www.drivethrucomics.com/product/228539/Three-For-Two-BUNDLE

Looking for something with more words and less pictures? My debut Children's Comedy Fantasy novel 'The Last Of The Navel Navigators' has been reduced to just 99p on Kindle in most Amazon stores (apart from USA, currently). 45,000 words of magical bellybutton poking hillbilly action! Just click the universal link below to be taken to your country's store.